Yesterday we spent the entire afternoon (Noon until 5:30) with a person from an agency that provides Personal Care Attendants. I have been dragging my heels on this, don't want to do it, but it seems that the kids' worker and ours insist that we do it. A personal care attendant comes into our home and basically tends to the person to whom they are assigned. It seems that these new kids are entitled to an attendant for the equivalent of 12 hours a day, 7 days a week! I have no idea what I am going to have one of these people do for an hour, let alone 12 hours. The lady from yesterday assures me that once we are into this, we will wonder what we ever did without them.
I am not interested in doing this. Everything about it feels uncomfortable to me. Firstly, I value my privacy in my own home. I don't want people I don't know coming here every day, even if they are coming to help. I know, we could find someone ourselves. But I would rather keep our friends on a friend basis rather than a paid help situation.
Secondly... even though I have been assured that these people will do all the stuff with the kids that I don't want to do, thereby freeing me up to be with the other kids... I don't want to do it like that. For me, it is when I am doing the inconvenient stuff for my kids, when I am doing the stuff that takes effort, or even just the stuff that is boring (listening to a 6 try to sound out words or taking a 4 year old to the bathroom for the hundredth time today for instance) that makes me the mom. The mundane, I don't feel like doing it stuff that I make myself do anyway...FOR my kid... is what helps bond/bind us together. I don't really want to give that to someone else to take care of.
Well, at any rate I said I would do it. But I also said that the day we finalize the adoption is the day we say goodbye to the PCA's.
1 comment:
I have an appointment this afternoon for our PCA assessment. I was like you at first, in that I valued my privacy and I AM the mom. But now I'm looking forward to having someone help with the kids. Someone to get take them to soccer practice or baseball practice, someone to help them with the extras for which there simply is not enough time in the day. It may end up being something I do not like, and I will end it if need be. But come summer time, it will definitely be appreciated. I'll keep you posted.
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