Parenting: Not A Popularity Contest

I searched around for a picture of myself when I was first married... during the very few short months of my married life when I did not have any children. Couldn't find one. I used to have several pictures from a canoe trip John and I took a month or so after our wedding... Found the book, all the pictures of John or I have been taken out... huh... Instead here is one from last spring. Not the happiest picture I have seen of myself, but probably more representative of the "well, huh" look I am wearing lately.

So, anyway... I have been contemplating parenting and I see that I went into parenting my biological 10 with the same "bag over my head" optimism that I had when John and I thought to adopt the new 4. In both cases I truly felt we would have/adopt some kids, love them, feed them, keep them safe, teach them about Jesus, and all would be well. No sweat. How hard can it be? And... a big plus... I LOVE KIDS, at least I love MY kids!

And the kids of course would realize that I correct them when they need it, not because I am some kind of control freak who has a compulsion to exercise my power on children young and old.... but because I just want them to be the best they can be.

How many years do you think it took to figure out that my kids are not interested in my opinion of how they should behave?? I am not sure when it hit me...maybe sometime in 1992? And most of the time they will try to turn it back on me: You NEVER tell the other kids what to do... You ALWAYS blame me.... (insert name here) ALWAYS gets away with everything.... You NEVER call (insert name here) on his behavior.... (insert name here) has gotten away with everything all his life... You are just trying to make me mad.
It is impossible to count the number of times I have gotten a line of crap that at its root is actually saying: "If you would just leave me alone, stop looking at my behavior, I wouldn't have any problem."

Isn't it a barrel of fun to have the people you love the most act like they can't stand you and you are the biggest pain they hope to ever have to live through.

I keep telling myself: Parenting is not a popularity contest.